Understanding and Overcoming Parental Burnout: 3 Immediate Steps to Take

by guest blogger Verena

Parental burnout is something more and more parents are talking about these days. It's that feeling when the stress of raising kids just doesn't let up, and you're left feeling like you have nothing left to give.

Parenting is often described as a journey full of love, laughter, and joy. But let's be real – there are also moments that are really tough and downright exhausting, leaving even the strongest parents feeling worn out.

Understanding Parental Burnout

Parental burnout happens when the demands of parenting are more than you can handle. It's like your stress levels are through the roof, and you're emotionally and physically exhausted, affecting every part of your life.

Recognizing the Signs

Parental burnout shows up in various ways:

• Physical and Emotional Exhaustion: The constant demands of parenthood can lead to profound fatigue and emotional depletion, often manifesting as chronic tiredness and irritability. This is typically the first symptom to appear.

• Loss of Enjoyment: When you're so overwhelmed by responsibilities that you can't find joy in parenting activities anymore.

• Emotional Distancing: Feeling detached or emotionally numb towards your kids, which can strain your relationship with them.

• Contrast with Ideal Parenting: Feeling like you're not living up to the parent you wanted to be, which can bring on guilt and feelings of inadequacy.

Risk Factors for Parental Burnout

Several things can make parental stress worse (this list is non-exhaustive):

• Sociodemographic Factors: Being a mother, having multiple kids, having children under 5, and having higher education levels.

• Child Factors: Kids with physical or mental health issues, neurodivergence, behavioral or educational challenges, and high levels of dependence.

• Parental Factors: Stress from work, caregiving responsibilities, perfectionism, lack of leisure time, loneliness, social media pressure, and parental neurodivergence.

• Family Factors: How household chores are divided, lack of extended family support, divorce or separation, relationship stress, and access to childcare.

Embracing Recovery and Resilience

Getting over parental burnout isn't about a quick fix – it's a journey that needs a plan tailored to your situation. By recognizing the signs, addressing what’s causing the stress, and embracing strategies for recovery, you can find your way back to joy, confidence, and a sense of purpose in parenting.

What You Can Do Right Now

Here are three simple things you can start doing right now to help reduce your risk of burnout:

1. Prioritize Sleep and Movement: Focus on your well-being by making sleep and movement a priority. Even a short walk or a brief yoga session can really boost your physical and mental health. Try to set aside 10 minutes a day for gentle movement or relaxation exercises to help clear your mind and rejuvenate your body.

2. Adjust Expectations and Practice Self-Compassion: Let go of the pressure to be perfect. Aim for “good enough” parenting and be kind to yourself. Lower those high standards and remind yourself that it’s okay to make mistakes. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you'd offer a friend in the same situation.

3. Cultivate Connection with Your Child and Others: Make time to connect with your child and other supportive adults in your life. Emotional closeness with your child can help protect against burnout and build resilience. Spend time together, whether it’s through conversation, shared activities, or just hanging out.

Remember, you’re not alone in this. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups for encouragement and understanding. Building a support network can provide the companionship and reassurance you need as you navigate the ups and downs of parenthood.

Are you now wondering if you're dealing with normal parental stress or parental burnout?

Take this short self-test here.

Or book a FREE 30-minute online consultation with me HERE!

🩵 Verena

More about Verena:

"Verena is a Parental Burnout Coach, yoga, meditation, and mindfulness teacher, as well as a mother to an energetic 5-year-old daughter. She's the heart and soul behind Yogamelia, based Crassier, near Nyon. With a deep passion for supporting busy mums, Verena is dedicated to helping them discover more calm, confidence, and ease in both motherhood and life."

The what, why and how of pelvic floor recovery

We’ve all heard the term ‘kegel’ but what are our pelvic floor muscles, why is it so important to practice them, and how exactly do we do them?

Along my journey as a yoga teacher who specializes in prenatal and postnatal recovery, I’ve come across my fair share of women who have pelvic floor dysfunction. Symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction include urinary incontinence, pain during intercourse, constipation or fecal incontinence, and prolapse. None of these sound very fun, right?! The good news is, there is plenty we can do to both prevent, and remedy these symptoms. 

What are pelvic floor muscles anyway?

Your pelvic floor muscles are exactly what they sound like, they are the muscles at the base of your pelvis. There are a group of muscles that surround your rectum, and a group that surround your vagina and urethra.  They're just like any other muscles in your body, and can become weak if they go unused, and with regular exercise, they can become strong. During pregnancy, the weight of the baby puts extra stress on our pelvic floor muscles, which can then lead to pelvic floor dysfunction if we aren’t intentionally strengthening these muscles before, during, and after pregnancy. 

So how do I do pelvic floor exercises then?

I like to imagine a zipper starting at the rectum and zipping along the front all the way up to my ribcage. Our pelvic floor muscles are attached to our deepest lower abdominal layer called the transverse abdominals, so if everything is working as it should, when we engage our pelvic floor muscles, our deep core muscles will also engage. 

If  you’re still not sure if you’re engaging the right muscles. The next time you go to pee, try to stop the flow midstream. Those are your pelvic floor muscles! It’s a lifting in and up feeling. 

How often should I practice pelvic floor exercises?

Often! Especially during pregnancy and postpartum. I would suggest doing intentional exercises everyday. It doesn’t have to be long in duration, and you can practice them anywhere anytime, no one will know! Try these different variations:

1. Lift your pelvic floor muscles as you exhale, relax as you inhale. As mentioned our pelvic floor muscles are attached to our core muscles. And we often find it easier to contract our abdominals as we exhale, especially if there is an imbalance of pressure and we are spilling out the front of our abdominals, like during pregnancy or with abdominal separation postpartum. Practice 8-10 rounds of contracting on the exhale and relaxing on the inhale. You can do this simply sitting, or you can incorporate movement with the exercise, like cat cows, or bear plank lifts. 

2. Do quick and strong contractions. This will fire up your fast twitch muscles, which are so important during times when you sneeze, cough, or need to run across the room to grab your toddler! Practice them with a Kapahlbati breath, which is a breathing technique in yoga where you do short forceful exhales very quickly (about 1 per second) and let the inhale happen naturally. Each time you do the fast strong exhale, also contract you pelvic floor muscles! Start with 1-2 rounds of 20-30 exhales, and build up! 

3. Use controlled contract and relax. Imagine walking up and down a 3 step staircase, and with each step up, lift your pelvic floor a little more. When you get to the top of the staircase, relax your pelvic floor muscles incrementally with each step down. This is great for increasing stamina and control of your pelvic floor muscles. Again, you can practice this one simply sitting, or you can incorporate it into your movement routine. One of my favorites is to add it to a lunge or a goddess pose. 

4. Lift and hold, and then relax. Contract your pelvic floor muscles and hold for a 10 count. Then completely relax them for a 10 count. Repeat 3-5 times. This is another great one for increasing stamina, and it’s also a great one for insuring that you can also relax your pelvic floor muscles completely. It’s actually just as important to be able to relax your pelvic floor muscles as it is to contract them. If you are living in a state of hypertension this can also cause pelvic floor dysfunction symptoms, and will make it more difficult to condition your pelvic floor muscles properly. 

So now that you know what your pelvic floor muscles are, why it’s important to keep them strong, and how to do so, you’ve got no excuses! Go ahead and start practicing! If you still want some extra support, check out my 5 day free postnatal yoga course where I will guide you through how to do some of the pelvic floor exercises above, and so much more! 

Sending love,

Emma 

Strategies for fitting in exercise when you're a new mom with limited time

Okay, you’re a new (ish!) mom and you’re ready to get back on the exercise wagon! Your intentions are there, you want to loose the baby weight, you’re tired of feeling tired, and you want to feel strong and confident in your body again. But between taking care of the baby, keeping up with housework, trying to keep everyone decently fed, errands, etc. etc. the list could go on forever, you’re finding it next to impossible to fit in any me time, and when you do, it’s likely a nap. I feel you, myself and every other new mom has been there! Life gets very busy very fast. And while I might not need to preach the benefits of regular exercise (that’s another blog post!), the reality of fitting it in seems daunting. So, here are some tips to get you started!

1. Just start! Anything that feels difficult is so much harder when all we do is think about it. How many projects have you been intimidated by doing, where you ruminate about it, procrastinate doing it, stay up at night worrying about. And then you start it, and you realise it’s not half as bad as you made it out to be! And then you crack on, and you’re finished with it before you know it! Think of starting an exercise routine in the same way. Just do it, today! Start simple, go for a walk, get down on your yoga mat and move in anyway that feels good for just 10 min, get hubby or grammy to babysit just once a week so you can go to that class you’ve been wanting to try! Once you start, you’ll realize it’s not half as scary as you made it out to be.

2. Build it into your routine. We know babies, and kids for that matter, are all about routine. So structure your exercise the same way you would a feeding or a nap time. Build it into your routine in a way that makes sense for you and your family. If you’re a morning person, wake up 30 min earlier and exercise then, if you’re a night owl, move your body once kids are in bed. If baby happens to be a decent sleeper (you don’t know how lucky you are!) then use nap time to get your sweat on. The important thing is that you know when you’re going to fit it in, and then you stick to it!

3. Ask for what you need, and offer in return. If you really want an hour to yourself, ask for it! This was a hard lesson for me to learn the first time around. We are so used to being masters of our own universe, that it feels uncomfortable to ask hubby ‘can I please go to a yoga class’ but trust me if you don’t ask he won’t offer (unless you’re married to superman in which case congrats!). On the flip side, you need to be prepared to support your husband to also do the things he loves. It’s taken a few years to get there, but I’m happy to say my husband and I are at a stage now where we can both ask for what we need, and (usually!) are happy to support the other person in getting the time and space they require. It has taken a lot of practice! But we are both happier and healthier for it.

4. Bring baby! Walking is a great option, they love it, and in addition to exercise you get vitamin D and fresh air! Try out a stroller walk, carrier, hiking backpack, and see what works best for you. You can also check in your area for baby and me exercise classes. I used to teach baby yoga with my son in a carrier when he was little! Another nice alternative is to put them in a happy place with some toys, and get on your mat and do your thang. For sure this doesn’t constitute as ‘me’ time, and you need to have very relaxed expectations about what you can accomplish, but hey sometimes something is better than nothing!

5. Be accountable. Join a course, bring a buddy, book a class. Do something where you’re booked in and you’ll be that much more likely to do it!

I’ve created a 5 day FREE postnatal yoga course to help you build a consistent exercise routine when you have limited time. The videos are each 10-15 min long, totally doable! Try it out and let me know how you get on, I’d love to hear from you!

Sending love,

Emma

Finding Peace in Chaos: Managing Stress with Postnatal Yoga

Becoming a new mom is an incredibly rewarding experience, but it's also accompanied by its fair share of challenges. Sleep deprivation, constant demands, and the whirlwind of caring for a newborn leaves many mothers feeling overwhelmed and stressed. This sense of overwhelm can often lead to deprioritizing one’s own care, and when we aren’t taking care of ourself and meeting our own needs, it can lead to even more stress and overwhelm. Investing in our health and wellness as we transition into motherhood is more important than ever, and making the time for a regular postnatal yoga practice can make a huge difference in our mental state as well as our physical wellbeing. 

I remember before I had my first baby, mom friends would joke about how they couldn’t drink a hot cup of coffee, or how they struggled to find time to take a shower. I laughed it off and thought, ‘surely this won’t be me, don’t babies sleep all the time?!’ No matter how many stories we hear, or how intimately we perceive another women’s transition into motherhood, nothing can prepare us for the realities of selfless care that newborns require. Yep, I was right there with them, struggling to eat breakfast and take a shower, let alone prioritize my fitness. 

The limited free time available to me shortly after childbirth was a huge shock to my system. I had gotten so good at taking care of myself! I exercised regularly, ate healthy foods, and made time for relaxation. Caring for another tiny helpless human being who depended completely on me left me feeling depleted, exhausted, and unable to meet my own needs. 

This lack of self care only led to more stress and overwhelm. I quickly realized that this wasn’t sustainable, and I needed to prioritize my own health and wellbeing if I was going to be able to enjoy those precious early baby days. These are some of the strategies that worked for me, and enabled me to find some peace in the chaos:

1. I asked for help. This can be a hard one, especially for my strong independent mamas out there. I want to say to you, there is no shame in asking for help and in prioritizing your own health and wellbeing. Trust me, if you make time to take care of yourself, you are going to be able to give that much more to your loved ones. My husband and I quickly fell into a routine of trading time. We would ask for what we needed, and offer support to each other to get the time and space we required. I was able to take the breaks I needed, to fill up my cup, and to feel like I could give from a place of love and compassion, rather then resentment. 

2. I eased back into an exercise routine, and listened to my body. I did a better job at this with my second one then with my first, where I was rushing to ‘get my body back’. With my second I started with gentle 20-30 min walks, and started with pelvic floor and core exercises where I connected my breath to my movements. Focusing on my breath and rehabbing muscles that had taken the brunt of the pregnancy not only helped me heal physically, but left me feeling calm and refreshed. 

3. I tried my best to do something for myself each day. When I was feeling extra tired this might be a short walk, or a nap, when I had more energy it might be a more upbeat stroll or a longer yoga session. I tried to listen to my body and think what would serve me best, while prioritizing movement. On days when I couldn’t get any time to myself, I would go on a stroller walk with the babe, or put them down on a mat on the floor while I did movement on my mat. 

4. I used the mantra ‘this too shall pass’ to stay in the present moment. The sleep deprivation and utter devotion would pass, but so would the sleepy baby snuggles. I tried my best to embrace the beautiful moments, and when it was difficult, to know that it wouldn’t last forever. 

As I learned to make room for myself, and prioritize movement, I began to grow physically and mentally. I chose movements that helped my body heal, and as I moved, I reduced my stress and anxiety and was able to be more present and calm during those early days. If you’re ready to prioritize your health and wellness, to start moving your body, and to reap the physical and mental benefits of doing so, check out my 5 day free postpartum fitness guide. I created this course with the intention of helping new mamas connect to their bodies again in a positive way postpartum. I hope it can help you find some peace in the chaos of those early days. 

Sending love,

Emma 

Yoga Poses to Mitigate Hip and Lower Back Pain; Prenatal and Postnatal

One of the most common complaints I hear from women prenatal and postnatal is concerning hip and lower back pain. This makes total sense if we think about what is happening anatomically. As our bellies grow during the prenatal phase, this extra weight puts added pressure on the bowl of our pelvis, and tilts the bowl of our pelvis forward. That forward tilt in our pelvis can then put strain on our lower back, causing pain. If we aren’t aware of this pattern, and don’t do anything to mitigate it, we can end up postpartum with a higher risk of abdominal separation, continued low back pain, and a greater risk of pelvic floor disfunction. In this article, we'll explore three yoga exercises specifically tailored to mitigate hip and lower back pain during prenatal and postnatal phases.

1. Psoas Release: The psoas muscle, which connects the lumbar spine (lower back) to the femur (thigh bone), can become tight, contributing to the anterior pelvic tilt mentioned above. The following yoga pose can help release tension in the psoas and realign the pelvis

   Pose: Low Lunge with a Pelvic Tuck

• Begin in a kneeling position on a yoga mat.

• Step one foot forward into a lunge position, ensuring the front knee is directly above the ankle.

• Engage your core and gently tuck your pelvis under, drawing your tailbone down towards the floor.

• Sink your hips forward and down, feeling a stretch in the front of the hip of the back leg.

• Hold the pose for 30-60 seconds, breathing deeply and focusing on releasing tension in the psoas.

• Repeat on the other side.

  2. Windshield Wipers to Restore Mobility: During pregnancy, the increased weight can lead to decreased mobility in the hips as the bowl of our pelvis sits more heavily on our femur bones. Windshield wipers are a gentle exercise that helps improve mobility in the hip joints and alleviate tension in the lower back:

Pose: Seated Variation

• Sit upright with your feet a little wider than your mat, use your arms to support you from behind if needed.

• Exhale and slowly lower both knees to one side, keeping your hips tracking forward

• Inhale as you return to the center, then exhale and lower the knees to the opposite side.

• Repeat this movement for 8-10 rounds, moving with your breath and focusing on the gentle stretch in the hips and lower back.

  3. Clam Shells to Strengthen Glutes: Weak glute muscles can contribute to hip and lower back pain during pregnancy and postpartum recovery. Clam shell exercises target the gluteus medius, which helps stabilize the pelvis and improve overall hip function:

Exercise: Clam Shells

• Lie on your side with knees bent, hips stacked, and head supported by the bottom arm.

• Keep your feet together and lift the top knee away from the bottom knee, opening the legs like a clamshell.

• Hold the position for a few seconds, then lower the top knee back down with control.

• Repeat for 10-15 repetitions on each side, focusing on engaging the glutes and maintaining stability through the pelvis.

Incorporating exercises like the psoas release, windshield wipers, and clam shells into your routine can help improve mobility, release tension, and strengthen supporting muscles, promoting a more comfortable and enjoyable pregnancy and postnatal recovery journey. As always, it's essential to listen to your body and consult with a healthcare professional before starting any new exercise regimen, especially during pregnancy. Please check out my 5 Day FREE Postpartum Fitness Guide for more on postpartum recovery, including pelvic floor engagement, how to check for abdominal separation and some safe core exercises you can start with, more on hips and lower back, and so much more! Please comment below or send an email, I’d love to hear from you!

Sending love,

Emma

Core? What Core??

Having no abdominal muscles to speak of postpartum is normal and expected, but it can still be disconcerting. You don’t realize how much you rely on your abdominal muscles until you don’t have any! Having a weak core can make it hard to do simple everyday things, like going from sitting to standing, putting baby in their crib, sitting up in bed, carrying a laundry basket, unloading the dishwasher, the list goes on! And doing these everyday things without the support of our core can lead to back pain, hip pain, and general discomfort.

In yoga, your third chakra lies just above your belly button, and is said to govern the fire element inside of you. It relates to your strength, willpower, self-esteem, stamina and vitality. I don’t know about you, but when my core was weak postpartum, I definitely felt less strong and powerful. As I began to gain strength in my core, I felt empowered, in control, and confident. This is what I want for you!

It can be tempting then to jump back into a lot of core exercise. I recently talked to a very new mom who began her postnatal core rehab by trying out 100 sit ups! Pretend it was your legs instead, and you had just spent 9 months in a wheel chair. Would you then jump up and go run a marathon, nooo! You would need to ease into it, slowly building strength and endurance before you even tried running. The same goes for your core. If you go too fast too soon, you can do more harm than good.

So, what are some of the best exercises to do? Here are 3 of my favorites!

1. Hovering table top. In this pose you start in table top with your hands under your shoulders, and knees under your hips. Squeeze a block between your knees, take a big breath into your ribcage, and on the exhale, squeeze the block tighter, lift your pelvic floor, draw your belly in, and lift your knees one inch off the ground. This is a great one for getting your adductors (inner thigh muscles), pelvic floor, and core all firing together. It also puts less stress on your lower back than a full plank pose. And since your legs aren’t extended like a full plank, you’re less likely to bulge or push your belly out.

2. Dead Bugs. There are so many variations of this pose, but my favorite is lying on your back with your knees bent and fingers reaching towards the ceiling. Inhale, and on the exhale extend your opposite leg and opposite arm towards the floor. The knee of your leg reaching towards the floor can be bent at first, and as you get stronger, you can try keeping it straight. These are great for recruiting core muscles without over arching your lower back.

3. Bird Dogs. These are kind of like a combo of the two above! From table top, inhale, and as you exhale, extend your opposite arm and opposite leg. This is another great one to do in place of plank pose, and will help you build the strength and endurance in your core and back so that you can safely and effectively engage your muscles in a full plank pose when the time comes!

Follow my instagram @turning.circles or fb turning-circles for videos of the exercises above!

And if you’re a new mom (or know someone who is!) check out or share my 5 Day FREE postpartum exercise guide to get you moving in a safe and effective way. I’d love to hear from you! Please comment below and let me know if this article was helpful!

Sending love,

Emma

4 Things I bet you didn't know about pelvic floor function

Pelvic floor is a hot topic with anyone prenatal or postnatal, and probably a lot of you know the basics. Kegel anyone? But while you might know that doing pelvic floor exercises is good for you, HOW to do them effectively is a different story. There are a lot of systems at play, and it’s not always so cut and dry as a simple squeeze and release. So, here are some things you should know!

1. It is just as important to RELAX your pelvic floor as it is to CONTRACT. There are two reasons for this. Firstly, some women suffer from hypertension in their pelvic floor muscles. Meaning they are tight and unable to relax. A tight muscle is often a weak muscle, and usually won’t perform well. Second, and they are related, you need to be able to relax the muscle in order to contract it. Try flexing your bicep muscle at about 50%, now try to go to 100%, it’s hard right? Now relax your bicep, and then do a full contraction to 100%, notice the difference? In order for a muscle to function to the best of its ability, we need to be able to both fully relax and fully contract it.

2. Using a diaphragmatic breath can be very useful in pelvic floor engagement. Your diaphragm sits nestled inside your lower ribs, and is the shape of an upside down shallow bowl. When you inhale it pulls down to fill your lungs, and expands your ribcage. When you exhale, it lifts up to push the air out of your lungs. This is how it is supposed to work. However, it is so common to breathe shallowly into our upper chest instead of using our diaphragm properly. So try it, wrap your fingers around your ribcage, and breath in a way where you can feel your ribs expand on the inhale. Feels good right! Now, as our diaphragm lifts on the exhale, the canister of our torso is in a great position to engage our abdominals and lift our pelvic floor. Try it! Inhale into your ribs, exhale feel the front of your ribs closing like elevator doors into the midline, pull your belly in like someone is about to tickle you, and lift your pelvic floor all together. Feel how it’s all connected?!

3. Your lower abdominals are connected to your pelvic floor. When functioning properly, if you engage your pelvic floor, you will also engage your lower transverse abdominals, which are your deepest lowest section of your abdominals. So try this! Lie on your back with your knees bent and your feet on the floor. Find the bony protrusions of the front of your pelvis, and then wrap your fingers around to the inside of them. You should be squishing in there pretty well! Then lift your head up away from the floor as you exhale, lift your pelvic floor, and think about pulling your belly in while broadening and flattening your lower belly. You should feel your fingers being pushed out by some muscles in there. THOSE are your lower transverse abdominals that are connected to your pelvic floor! So anytime you’re doing work that includes both core and pelvic floor, think about engaging those muscles you just felt!

4. Your hips are the foundation of your pelvic floor. If you have tightness or restrictions in the mobility of your hips, this can often play a role in pelvic floor function. If your tight hips are causing a narrowing of the base of your pelvis, then it can be harder to access your pelvic floor muscles. This often happens when we are in external rotation (think duck feet) which is oh so common during pregnancy from all that extra weight we are carrying in the front. So! Try using a block, ball, or small rolled up towel between your legs, and as you squeeze it, imagine broadening the base of your pelvis. My two favorite positions to do this in are table top and bridge pose. In table top you’re on your hands and knees with your apparatus of choice between your knees or thighs. Take a big breath into your ribs, and on the exhale squeeze the block, lift your pelvic floor, pull your belly in (get those lower transverse abdominals involved!), and lift your knees one inch off the ground. This is one of my favorite shapes to get the inner thighs, pelvic floor, and core all working together with the breath! The other one you can do is bridge pose. On your back, bend your knees with your feet on the ground, and put the block between your knees or thighs so your hips, knees, and feet are all in one line. Take a big breath into your rib cage, and as you exhale squeeze the block, lift your hips, lift your pelvic floor, and engage your lower abdominals. Try these ones with and without the block and notice the difference!

I hope you enjoyed this article, and learned something new! If you’re a new mama or will be soon, check out my 5 Day FREE Postnatal Fitness Guide, where you can learn lots of useful info and exercises to help you in your postnatal recovery! Please comment below and let me know if this article was helpful, and if you’d like more like it!

Sending love,

Emma

3 reasons why my postpartum recovery was SO MUCH EASIER the second time round

I had a really difficult time recovering from my first baby. I was so anxious to get back to my ‘normal’ exercise routine and too ‘get my body back’ that I skipped some very important steps of healing myself first. I spent very little time rehabbing my pelvic floor and core because it felt boring, and jumped right back into advanced yoga classes full of inversions, arm balances, and backbends that my body wasn’t ready for. The result was me throwing my back out to the point of bedrest, multiple times. If you want to learn more about that experience you can check out my blog 'How I Fixed My Broken Back'

As you can image, I was very nervous the same thing would happen the second time around, and was very careful to do the ‘right thing’ this time to avoid so much hurt and pain. So, these are the things that I did differently, that WORKED!

1. I took it slow, and listened to my body instead of my ego. I’m the kind of person who always wants to be moving and going, but I made a concerted effort to savor those first weeks at home, laze around in my pajamas, and snuggle with my new baby. Instead of rushing into exercise, I waited till I felt ready for it.

2. I focused on building strength and endurance in my pelvic floor and core before I started anything more strenuous. With my first, I did some intentional pelvic floor and core rehab, but I found it quite slow and tedious, so I moved on quickly to more intense exercise, big mistake! With my second, I took the time to strengthen the fundamental building blocks of my core and floor before jumping into anything else. And it paid off! I was able to see continuous improvement, and stayed healthy throughout.

3. I took walks by myself. I started hiking with my first in the front carrier at 2 weeks postpartum, which in retrospect was definitely a contributing factor to throwing my back out. With my second, I found the time to go for short walks solo. Not only did it feel so much better for my body, but I would relish the quiet time to myself.

Back pain is only one symptom of not rehabbing your body properly postpartum. I meet mamas too frequently who have incontinence, unresolved abdominal separation, prolapse, and hip pain postpartum. There is very little attention given to postpartum recovery in the health care industry . While physical therapy is always included with routine hip or knee surgeries, we see very little guidance with postpartum recovery. Luckily the trend seems to be changing, and there is more and more information and support for new mamas physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing.

I love using what I’ve learned through my own recoveries, as well as my years of training in the field and experience working with mamas to help support them when and how they need. I’ve created a 5 Day FREE Postpartum Fitness Guide to get you started along the path to a healthy and safe recovery. Please have a look, or share with a friend who needs it.

Sending love,

Emma

How to have body confidence while working towards your fitness goals postpartum

Hey mama!

With the first week of 2024 under our belts, you might have spent some time recently setting goals and resolutions for the new year. When goal setting, the struggle I always come across is how to be grateful for what I have in the present moment, while simultaneously seeking to improve.

This mentality carries over to body image, and was definitely a challenge for me postpartum. I wanted to ‘bounce back’ and get my body back asap. Now that’ I’ve had two children, I can tell you it doesn’t happen like that, at least not for the vast majority of us! It takes time, dedication, commitment, and consistency in your exercise routine to get your strength, endurance and weight back to what it was pre baby. And even when you do get your ‘body back’ postpartum (it took me 2-2.5 years with my first, and 3 yrs with my second) your body still won’t look exactly the same! And this is okay! Look at the amazing feat your body just accomplished! You grew another person!

So how do you work towards your goals, while simultaneously having body confidence? These are some of the tricks I use!

1. Look at the progress you make, each week, each month, and each year! Part of setting goals is seeing how far you’ve come, and how much you have accomplished. With my one to one clients, I do timed tests at the start of each package (which is usually 8 weeks), so that they can see the progress they’re making! Depending on your exercise routine, choose something that’s measurable and make a note of it every couple weeks, so you can celebrate your wins! This will help keep you motivated and feeling positive.

2. Think about how you feel, not just how you look! If you feel stronger, more endurance, and more energy, these are often more important than the number on the scale! And as you form a regular exercise routine, remember that muscle weighs more than fat, so even though the scale might not be moving very quickly, the inches might be!

3. Do things that make you feel good! Dance, swim, go for walks, wear the comfy clothes, whatever it is that helps you feel like superwoman, cause mama, you are!

4. Try not to compare yourself to others. I know it’s hard!! Instead compare yourself to other versions of you, and strive to be the best version of you that you can. We’re all different, and we all have different wonderful asets.

5. Remember all that your body has accomplished. Look at that sweet baby face that YOU MADE! One of my hang ups is that even when my belly is looking pretty toned and flat, I still have way more wrinkles and loose skin that I used to. But then I think about how HUGE my belly was, and I’m like okay belly, you did a good job! And I try to give it some mental love instead of hate.

6. Positive affirmations! I love these, and often use them for myself when I’m feeling down, and get my clients to practice them when I can tell they’re in a funk. Positive affirmations are anything where you are repeating something positive in your head, usually an I am statement, that you want to believe in and to be true. For example:

   • I am strong

   • I am brave

   • I am patient (I use this one a lot when my son is driving me crazy!)

   • I am an amazing mama

   • I am beautiful

   • I am confident

   • I am amazing

   • I AM ENOUGH

Say them till you believe them! And once you believe them, others will too.

Check out my FREE 5 Day Postpartum course and keep watching till day 5, where I will guide you through a short ‘I am enough’ meditation. Cause mama, you ARE enough!

Please reach out with any questions or comments, I’d love to hear from you <3

Sending love!

Emma

Do's and Don'ts for Prenatal Yoga

I often get asked by expecting moms in my group classes, ‘what should and shouldn’t I be doing when it comes to yoga and exercises.’ The short answer is, do what feels good in your body. If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it! What women can and can’t do during pregnancy depends on a lot of factors, including how fit they were going into pregnancy, how they’re pregnancy is progressing, and if they have any counter-indications. If you weren’t a runner before you got pregnant, now is probably not the time to start! However, it is so important to move your body during your pregnancy. It will reduce aches and pains do to pregnancy, aid in a smooth delivery, and keep you feeling positive mentally and emotionally. So here is a list of do’s and don’ts that everyone can follow:

Do:

• Pelvic floor exercises! This is a must for any pre or post natal mama if you don’t want to deal with issues of incontinence (bladder control) down the line. So kegal, and kegal often! I always incorporate pelvic floor exercises into my pre and post natal classes, and usually teach it alone, in conjunction with core exercises, and in a range of shapes. Some women have more sucess accessing their pelvic floor muscles in some positions vs. others, so it’s good to try a few and see what works for you. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, if you are doing a pee and you go to stop mid flow, these are the muscles that allow you to stop. It’s a sensation of lifting in and up, and connects to your lower abdominal muscles. Go ahead, try a kegal now why you’re reading this!

• Hip mobility. As our bellies grow and exert more weight on our hips, it helps to stretch and move our hips in a range of directions to prevent pain. Working on hip mobility now will also help keep you more comfortable during delivery. I’m not going to say it will make it easier, but your tight hips will be one less thing to worry about while getting into positions to get baby out! While I will advocate for maintaining a healthy range of motion for your hips during pregnancy, please don’t overdo it! If you couldn’t do the splits before you were pregnant, now is not the time to learn! While pregnant and brestfeeding our bodies produce a hormone called relaxin, which makes your ligaments looser. While this is very helpful during delivery, you do need to be a little bit more careful when stretching. Go for the 80% rule, and don’t feel like you need to push to the very end of your range.

• Breathing exercises are great during pregnancy! If you’re new to any type of controlled breath, sama vriti is a nice place to start. It is the practice of equal inhales and exhales, where you count in your head while you’re breathing. I like to do a 5 count, but you can make it shorter or longer as you need. Practiced breathing helps expand your ribcage and reduce pain, calms your mind down and reduces anxiety, and is great to use during delivery.

• Hands and knees, and down dog. We all know that we want babies head to be facing down. If it’s not, you’re pretty much guaranteed to have a C section. Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with having a C section, it is an amazing medical advance that has saved so many babies and mamas. But, if you are trying for a vaginal birth, you need babas head down. Now I’m not saying if you do down dog this is a done deal, but, practicing poses where you’re giving baby the opportunity to move around in there, will enable the little bugger to orient himself with his head down. Doing cat cow stretches, down dog, or any movements on your hands and knees, or where you have your hips higher than your heart, are great to practice.

Don’ts

• Tons of core exercise. I say tons, because there is some gray area here. I’ve seen pregnant women who were very comfortable doing plank pose late in their pregnancy. Personally, I didn’t feel comfortable in this pose after around 5/6 months. As mentioned, listen to your body and see what feels right. This being said, please avoid full sit ups, or any other shape that is squishing or contracting your belly, or feels like you’re pushing your belly out. Some women think that they will recover more quickly if they keep their core strong during pregnancy, but the opposite can happen. As our bellies grow our abdominals move apart at the midline. If we’re working really hard to strengthen our core muscles at this time, then they can be more likely to tear. This will then lead to abdominal separation during postnatal, and can make your recovery more difficult. When doing any core exercises, keep it easy and simple. Bird dogs are a good one, and dead bugs on your back. How you’re going to feel doing these exercises will change as your pregnancy progresses, so be sure to listen to your body each day, and modify as needed.

• Closed twists. This includes any shapes where you’re twisting towards your front leg (like in low lunge) and it feels like you’re squishing your belly. A good rule of thumb here is don’t squish your belly! Don’t worry, your baby will be fine, he or she is swimming in a big cushy sack of fluid. It will just be uncomfortable for you, and could lead to strain or pain if you push it. Open twists where you’re twisting through your spine but not squishing your belly are a good alternative.

• Anything where you’re lying on your belly. This might seem quite obvious, but worth mentioning. If your yoga teacher is teaching a class where you are on your belly (bow pose, superman, etc) a nice modification is doing a similar exercise on your hands and knees.

I hope this was helpful! When you enter any exercise class its a great idea to tell your teacher that you’re pregnant. If you’re early on and feeling shy about it, you can approach the teacher before class so you don’t need to announce it to everyone! Even if your instructor isn’t trained in prenatal, they will be sure not to encourage you into shapes that might be uncomfortable. And if you can, try to find a prenatal class near you. Not only will you have a trained professional guiding you, but it’s such a nice opportunity to connect with other mamas to be. Enjoy the process, and keep moving mama. Listen to that amazing body of yours, and do what feels right for you that day. If you have any questions or need some extra support, I’d love to hear from you <3

If you’d like to learn more about how to approach exercise postpartum, check out my FREE 5 Day Postpartum Checklist

Sending love!

Emma

5 Reasons Why You Should do Pre and Post Natal Yoga

Pre and Post Natal is a busy time! You’re busy thinking about your pregnancy, birth, your new little bundle of joy and all the ins and outs of becoming a new mother. Sometimes we’re so busy thinking about this new little life, that we forget to take care of ourselves. I get it, I’ve had two babes, and I know sometimes our health and wellness, wether it’s intentional or not, takes a back seat. I’m here to encourage you to take care of you. Even when it feels like you’re too busy and you can’t make time, shift something, make it happen, because it is so important! Filling up your own cup and prioritizing your health and wellness not only makes you feel better in the short term, it also helps you avoid problems in the long term. And when you fill your own cup up, you can better serve the ones around you. And we all know children require a lot of servitude! So here is my list of 5 reasons why you must prioritize your health and wellness.

1. Pelvic Floor - I feel like this could be numbers one to five all by itself! It is that important! For those of you who don’t know, your pelvic floor is the group of muscles that sit at the base of your pelvis, and are responsible for contracting to prevent feces and urine coming out. When these muscles are weak, we have what is called incontinence, where we can’t control our bodily functions. Not fun! During pregnancy and childbirth, our pelvic floor weakens due to all the pressure exerted on it from the weight of the baby. And if we don’t actively focus on strengthening these muscles during and after pregnancy, there is a huge chance we will experience some form of incontinence. The Mayo Clinic estimates that half of women will experience incontinence, and this number jumps to 75% as we age! I work with so many women who think it is totally normal to pee themselves, to the point of not trying to fix the problem. The good news is, there IS something we can do about it! By learning different exercises we can strengthen our pelvic floor muscles, and reduce or eliminate the chance of incontinence. Our pelvic floor is just like any other muscle, if we don’t use it, we loose, it. Except that when we loose control of these muscles, it has some not so nice consequences.

2. Core Strength - During pregnancy, there are a lot of insecurities about when and how to use our core muscles, and when we don’t pay proper attention to pregnancy specific core exercises, we can increase our risk of Diastasis Recti. This is when our outer layer of abdominals tears and we have a separation in the middle. Around 50-60% of women expereince abdominal separation postpartum, so it is not uncommon! But learning best practices during and after pregnancy can help reduce the severity of abdominal separation, and put you on the road to a faster recovery.

3. Back Care - 50%-80% of women experience back pain during or after pregnancy! When we are pregnant, the extra weight we are carrying on the front of our bodies can pull on our spine and put us off balance, resulting in pain or tightness. And after pregnancy, our lack of core muscles can increase the risk of back pain (check out my blog on ‘how I fixed my broke back’ for more on this one!). The good news is, by focusing on specific exercises to mobilize our spines, strengthen our hips, and stretch the front of our shoulders and chest, we can find a lot of relief from back pain, or eliminate it all together.

4. Building Lasting Friendships - I loved teaching pre and post natal yoga while I was pregnant with my little ones, because it was such a great opportunity to grow a community of like minded mamas. I made some lasting friendships, and loved seeing others relationships grow. It can be a time of insecurity as our worlds get turned upside down, and having ladies in your corner who are going through it with you is invaluable.

5. Relaxation - Whether you’re a recent new mamma or you’re prepping to become one, there are a lot of psychological stressors. Is baby healthy, am I eating the right things, will childbirth go smoothly, am I producing enough milk, is baby growing like they should. The list goes on! Pre and Post Natal Yoga is a time to not only take care of your body, but also take care of your mental and emotional state. Learning to breath deeply, to press pause, and to only focus on the things you actually have control of, is invaluable. Our mind and body are connected so that when we feel stressed, our body tenses, and visa versa. When we can learn to quiet the chatter of our mind, and to breath into our anxiety, we also lower our stress hormones and reduce tension in our bodies. This will help us better serve our growing families during times of stress, and y’all know, there will be times of stress!

I hope this article helped you on your journey to self care! I see you mama, and I’m here to help. Please check out my class listings for group pre and post natal courses coming up, or my private yoga page for more info on getting 1:1 support. I truly love helping moms and moms to be on this wild ride that is motherhood. Leave a comment below if you found this article helpful!

If you’d like to learn more about easing into fitness postnatal, check out my FREE 5 Day Postpartum Checklist

Sending love,

Emma

How I Fixed My Broken Back

Okay, so I didn’t actually break my back, there were no bone fractures, but it sure did feel like I broke my back. It turns out I aggravated disks in my lumbar spine at L4 L5, and anyone who has had disk pain can attest to how debilitating it is! So this is what happened;

It all started with the birth of my first child. Without going into too much detail, it was a 28 hour long labour, with two hours of pushing, most of which he was sunny side up for (so his spine was against my spine). After 19 hours I caved and got an epidural, and really couldn’t feel what was happening at all during pushing. Being in a position of lower back flexion (like when you scoop your tailbone under) and exerting so much pressure on my lower back was the beginning of the end.

While I didn’t have any immediate pain (aside from the normal birth recovery pains!) I did start to notice some general discomfort in my lower back. After I’d spent a long time sitting, especially when holding my son, when I went to stand up it felt like I was ‘stuck’ and couldn’t stand up straight. It wasn’t a sharp pain, but more of a tight uncomfortable feeling. I had a lot on my mind taking care of my new little human, and managing my business, and kind of shrugged it off. I started walking, hiking, and doing yoga again, and kind of just ignored it.

As my son grew, my lower back became more and more uncomfortable when I put my son in and out of his crib. When he was 6 months old, it all came to a head. My husband had just left for a work trip, and my son who was not a great sleeper, decided to choose this night to stay up for two hours straight. I bounced, I rocked, I put him in and out of his bed a million times, and by the time he was finally sleeping, I said ‘ohhhh shit’ and fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning, I couldn’t stand, I couldn’t sit, I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t lie on my back. The only position that didn’t cause searing pain in my lower back was lying on my side in a fetal position. I freaked out! I had never experienced this level of completely debilitating pain. What was I supposed to do!? I was still breast-feeding my son, and couldn’t sit with him or carry him!

I started calling around and got an appointment that day to see a physical therapist who was said to specialize in back pain. I hobbled into her office in tears. She tested my mobility and confirmed that I had slipped a disk at L4/L5. She recommended pain killers, muscle relaxants, and heat pads. I went home drugged myself up and hoped for the best. I canceled all of my classes for the rest of the week in hope that I would be better by then. I need to mention that I was lucky enough to have a nanny at the time, who stepped in and saved my life. We were living in Hong Kong when this happened, and I had no family close by to help. She took charge of the care for my son so I could rest, and even spent the first two nights getting up with him and feeding him a bottle. It hurt to even roll over in bed. I don’t know what I would have done without her!

A week later, I was up and about. I was amazed that I could go about my daily activities again after being in so much pain a mere week earlier. I started taking precautionary measures like wearing a back brace if I was doing any heavy (baby) lifting, and I continued to see my physical therapist twice a week. I had to learn as much as I could about this so I could prevent it from happening again.

And this is what I learned; the disks in your spine are jelly like pads that lie between our vertebrae and act like little shock absorbers. When we have chronic misalignment in our posture due to habbits, we can put pressure on the disks. For me, I didn’t have the core strength to stabilize the truck of my body, and then I was holding a heavy baby (he was always in the high 90th percentile!) away from my body as I picked him in and out of his crib. This put chronic pressure on the disks in my lower back, so they started to protrude out towards the back of my spine. This then put pressure on my nervous system, which in an act to protect my back from future damage, sent pain signals to my brain to prevent any movement.

I’d like to say I didn’t have any more relapses, but this isn’t the case. I had 3 more big episodes, all about 6 months apart from one another, and all resulting in 1-2 weeks in bed. With each episode, I learned more about my limits. What I could and couldn’t do, and what I needed to work on to prevent it from happening again.

I began intentionally strengthening my core. Being an avid yogi and hula hooper, I took my core strength for granted. And then instead of intentionally rehabing my core muscles after birth, I jumped back into exercise that I wasn’t ready for. I took a step back, and started focusing more on stability training for my core muscles. I also started intentionally strengthening my glutes, and back muscles. The idea being to strengthen the muscles around the weak area to provide strength and stability. I also integrated spinal mobilizing exercises that I learned in an anatomy workshop. I went to various physical therapists, chiropractors, and anatomy workshops and learned everything I could about what was happening in my body, and how I could make myself feel better.

I felt nervous and apprehensive about birth and recovery three years later when I was pregnant with my second child. I was lucky enough to have an amazing doctor who listened to my concerns, and helped me labour in a way that felt safe, avoiding lying on by back in a flexed lower back position like I had with my son. I spent most of the labour on my side, or in an all fours position, which prevented any undo stress on my lower back.

I intentionally rehabbed my body after birth, and took it slower. I focused on breathing, slow walks, pelvic floor engagement, and gentle abdominal exercises targeting the deep transverse core muscles. I avoided carrying my daughter in the carrier when possible (something I did NOT do with my son!) and was deliberate and intentional about the way I put her in and out of her bed.

As I got stronger, I added in the core, hip, and back strength and stability exercises I had learned previously. I am happy to say I never had another relapse! This being said, I do sometimes push it a little too far, and feel glitchy, vulnerable, and unstable or weak in my lower back. At the first sign that something is up, I turn back to my principals of core strengthening, spinal mobilizing, and hip engagement. I’ve learned how to recognize signs that something is not quite right, figure out what activities might have aggravated my back, and use the exercises that I’ve learned to mitigate any further discomfort.

A recent poll stated that 80% of Americans suffer from back pain at some point! I pride myself on leading a healthy active lifestyle, and yet I have suffered from back pain! I’m here to tell you I know how much it sucks, and that you don’t have to go it alone. You can feel better, and lead a life that is back pain free! The first step is taking action, looking for a solution, and figuring out what works for your body.

I have started offering a yoga for back care series where I teach what I have learned along my journey, and help you start your own journey. This course is composed of 6 classes, each of which is 75 min long. In each class, we will go over the anatomy of what is happening and why, as well as specific exercises to combat chronic pain. I will send you home with a guide so you can practice these exercises at home. We are an accumulation of our habits, and chronic pain is often a result of poor ones. When we make the decision to integrate new habits into our life that specifically target our needs, we can create balance in our bodies. Check out my Classes page for a link to register for my back care course today, so you can also live a back pain free life!

Here is what people are saying about the course:

‘I loved the theory and background knowledge to start the classes! Such a great class!’

‘I enjoyed listening to Emma explain why she was doing moves and what area’s they were expected to help. She is VERY knowledgeable and I look forward to taking more classes with her.’

‘Thanks for offering the course. I've had issues with my hips, lower back and neck at different times over the last 10 years and this class was very helpful. I also found that the classes also helped lower my blood pressure - that was a bonus!’